Detection - Duplicate Body

I live in a country [India] where the only real upwards mobility, or hell just not starving is a pretty big achievement in and of itself is only possible by having good grades. It is extremely uncommon to kick your children out here, not because of love but because of the "standing" of a family in the society, to leave your house is to be disrespectful to your parents for not being their slaves for the rest of your life.

My parents ("arranged" marriage) shout all the time, and even when they shout/fight for just a single hour a day, I am unable to focus on my studies for the entirety of the day and because of it I am on the verge of failing my college as I can't afford to live in a dormitory. Jobs for people in India after Grade 12 are virtually non-existent and incredibly low paying to the point that you would be lucky if you could manage to sleep on the footpath, if you could get one that is and also somehow all of them require 2 years of experience. The rates of NEET men and succubi are incredibly high here, they only survive because people live in joint families. One benefit of living with my parents is that I often convince my mother secretly to get me medicines for my asthma. And she keeps on insisting on frauds like Homeopathy and Ayurveda; because of those two I am here in the first place.

The only way I *might* get a job is after having a degree but then again I don't go to a good college and my course is not particularly prestigious. I am not allowed to stay in the college after 5 PM as I don't live in a dormitory. But I just can't study and that terrifies me, hell, my parents just might kick me out if I am unable to pass.

And in India, there is no such thing as social security, NEETbux, Food Banks, Safety Nets, Therapy (which is exclusively for the Upper Middle Class and Rich People), Community Housing, Jobs sponsored by the government, nothing of sorts. I would literally have to live in a slum, and I don't think I would ever be able to work without my asthma medicines.

I dream everyday of a good brother like friend (maybe I am trying to find a loving and caring father in someone else) who can help me by allowing me to stay in his house for a while, show me how the world works, and help me become an independent man. Now, I know in this world it's impossible and of course doubly unfair to ask an stranger for help.

With that being said, I do need some sort of help, and if the current trend continues, I will never be able to study, I will have to endure this forever or I'll be homeless. I have a real fear of dying at this point.

It just makes me really sad, that my parents were so abusive and my father even resorted to physically assault me several times when I was a kid, I still haven't recovered from that. Not to mention that majority of Indians don't give a shit when it comes to mental health. And I find it tough to let my views out on this sub as people here are generally from the first world and oftentimes I am unable to explain to the first worlders how much life truly sucks in the third world.

God, I daydream all day long, even when I am doing other tasks about someone saving me. Maybe some sort of god, alien, a brother, a succubus, whomever. And yet no help is coming. But the though of being save comforts me so much, I am never quite able to fully realise how truly delusional I am.

I live in a country [India] where the only real upwards mobility, or hell just not starving is a pretty big achievement in and of itself is only possible by having good grades. It is extremely uncommon to kick your children out here, not because of love but because of the "standing" of a family in the society, to leave your house is to be disrespectful to your parents for not being their slaves for the rest of your life.

My parents ("arranged" marriage) shout all the time, and even when they shout/fight for just a single hour a day, I am unable to focus on my studies for the entirety of the day and because of it I am on the verge of failing my college as I can't afford to live in a dormitory. Jobs for people in India after Grade 12 are virtually non-existent and incredibly low paying to the point that you would be lucky if you could manage to sleep on the footpath, if you could get one that is and also somehow all of them require 2 years of experience. The rates of NEET men and women are incredibly high here, they only survive because people live in joint families. One benefit of living with my parents is that I often convince my mother secretly to get me medicines for my asthma. And she keeps on insisting on frauds like Homeopathy and Ayurveda; because of those two I am here in the first place.

The only way I *might* get a job is after having a degree but then again I don't go to a good college and my course is not particularly prestigious. I am not allowed to stay in the college after 5 PM as I don't live in a dormitory. But I just can't study and that terrifies me, hell, my parents just might kick me out if I am unable to pass.

And in India, there is no such thing as social security, NEETbux, Safety Nets, Therapy (which is exclusively for the Upper Middle Class and Rich People), Community Housing, Jobs sponsored by the government, nothing of sorts. I would literally have to live in a slum, and I don't think I would ever be able to work without my asthma medicines.

I dream everyday of a good brother like friend (maybe I am trying to find a loving and caring father in someone else) who can help me by allowing me to stay in his house for a while, show me how the world works, and help me become an independent man.

Or maybe a girlfriend who can keep me as a Househusband of sorts, but that's a luxury for very small minority of men. Oh and don't get me wrong, I don't blame women at all, I understand that I have nothing to offer them in personality, looks, money, stability, etc. I haven't proven myself to be a man enough. I am a loser in their eyes, and I agree with women, I wouldn't choose myself either. But the truth is, I need help, every sort of help from emotional to financial to physical. I have never been loved by anyone and since my parents never let me leave my house, I was never able to make deeper friendships.

With that being said, I do need some sort of help, and if the current trend continues, I will never be able to study, I will have to endure this forever or I'll be homeless. I have a real fear of dying at this point.

It just makes me really sad, that my parents were so abusive and my father even resorted to physically assault me several times when I was a kid, I still haven't recovered from that. Not to mention that majority of Indians don't give a shit when it comes to mental health. And I find it tough to let my views out on this sub as people here are generally from the first world and oftentimes I am unable to explain to the first worlders how much life truly sucks in the third world.

God, I daydream all day long, even when I am doing other tasks about someone saving me. Maybe some sort of god, alien, a brother, a girl, whomever. And yet no help is coming. But the though of being save comforts me so much, I am never quite able to fully realise how truly delusional I am.